Saturday, January 2, 2010

Whining is what the internet is made for.

"It's probably because you don't brush your teeth enough" - ExGirlPerson

"Have you been eating fecal matter?" - Friend

"I get those too." - Twelve Year Old Boy In My Army of Evil

I've suffered from canker sores - little bumps of angry pain - all my life.They pop up up from a hell dimension, cause horrible staggering pain (forget eating and breathing deeply), and fade silently in the night laughing all the way. It's a genetics thing singed by my mother, but they tend to pop out in stress related situation.

I've tried ignoring them. I've tried putting salt on them and gargling (Officially sanctioned by OLD WIVES INC). I've even tried to deconstruct their religious beliefs. All it does is make them angry. All I can do is wait them out.

For the last month I've had a canker sore in the most painful place possible: Between a molar and a cheek. Every time I open my mouth (to talk, yell at disabled children, laugh the thing rubs against my skin and shoots little bolts of LOOK AT ME! through my system. After coming to terms with the painful bit of was gone.


My happiness lasted for an an entire day and a half. I woke up and found THE EXACT SAME CANKER SORE ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF MY MOUTH!

"HAHAHAHAH!" it laughed in it's New York Accent (All Canker Sores are From New York) "I like to move around, bitch!"

I rolled up into my favorite fetal position and cried.

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