FILMS WATCHED TODAY:

- Castaway on the Moon (200) - KOREA

- EXAM (2009. UK) The cover led me to believe this was going to be a bloody torture porn style horror flick, but I was pleasently to discover a more suspense heavy affair with no gore to speak of. The actors do great work and the only major misstep is a never ending final explanation. Highly recommended.

- Kiss Me Deadly (1955): Iron fisted noir from Robert Aldrich that has nothing but mean bones in its body. Very loosely based on Mickey Spillane's novel Mike Hammer in the film is more of a dunder headed cypher then the series' hard hitting detective.

TRON LEGACY (2010) - FILM

Perfectly designed from a visual and aural perspective (thanks to the Daft Punk Score) TRON: LEGACY sadly has no real engrossing conflict to carry the viewer through its narrative. It starts strongly for its first half hour - with the son Jeff Brides character from the original being introduced and quickly getting sucked into the digital world. Sadly, once you get past the 'Fish Out of Water' business that generates its own internal momentum, the film comes to a screeching halt. Everything literally stop for 20 minutes as exposition and background elements are dolled out before slowly jumping back into defeating a threat that's disappointedly vague in its intent. It doesn't help that the film's two show stopping best set pieces are sandwiched together within the first half hour. The Club Battle that happens latter is too short and the Arial battle that ends the film is impressive, but feels like its missing a final punch. Lead actor Garrett Hedlund is charming at first, but is quickly relegated to a reactionary character that doesn't have much to do but throw in a quip here and there. Olivia Wilde is cute and attractive. Jeff Bridges hippies it up and is filled with rage doubling it up as a creepy young CGI version of himself. Recommended.

OUR HOSPITALITY (1923) - FILM

Buster Keaton's films have such good comedy set pieces that it hurts - the film as a whole and my side from laughing so hard. Keaton puts together some of the best comedy you have ever seen, but at the same time it's quite a slog of nothing to get to that point sometimes. Still, this film has a great performance, a cracker jack plot (Keaton has to stay in the house of people that want to kill him, because they won't kill him unless he's outside) and that comedy I keep talking about. Must see.

The Natural (1984) - FILM

Just look at that poster. Take it in. Could it be more cheesy? Well, I guess you could have some puppies running along with him, or some kids, maybe an angel lifting him up to catch that pop fly.

To accept a film like THE NATURAL you have to consciously let your intellectual guard down. The place of realism has no pace in the underdog story of Robert Redford as a baseball player that enters the majors late in his life and starts a winning streak. This film is a painterly portrait of a fictional Americana where the Good Guys (TM) are GOOD and the Bad Guys (TM) are BAD. The director has no qualms about the fact that he's painting a straight faced mythology for the audience. The picture doesn't cleverly states that Robert Redford is Christ like figure - it goes out of its way to show you in a number of different way: Redford affects weather, he hits impossible balls and he never quits. If you don't believe, you won't make it. If you're a cinema goer you're aware of the tropes that come with the Sports Story you're also aware that they can be done well and done badly. In THE NATURAL they're done wonderfully. Director Barry Levinson knows the film he's making and he sticks to those roots. No matter how syrupy the on screen action gets, the audience can go along without being torn out of it, and that's the most important part of all.

It

SHERLOCK JR (1924) - FILM

A classic comedy with a series of jaw dropping gags that will astound you no matter who, what, where you are. t takes a little while to get going (about 15 minutes before the funny really starts to set in) but its undeniably awe inspiring. No one did Physical stunt like Keaton. No one. He even broke his neck during one of the takes in the film.

SEVEN BRIDES AND SEVEN BROTHERS (1954)

Yes this film has a disturbing plot line that happens half way through: Seven woodsmen kidnap seven women to make them their brides and they all get stuck in the cabin. What's even more disturbing is that the women seemingly go stir crazy and start lusting to be married and pregnant. They don't even get to know their soon to be husbands, they just abstractly want to get knocked up by the first thing that steps into their path. Up until the odd immoral shift in tone, the film is a breezy back lot musical in all its fake glory.

From a musical production standpoint, it's not exactly my cup of tea because most of the numbers are of the stand around and sing variety. It gets dull fast, no matter how nice people's voice are. The biggest disappointment is that halfway through the film there's a crazed ten minute display of gymnastic fortitude from all the brothers...the most famous moment of the film...and nothing before or after even touches on it.

The Fighter (2010) - FILM

Fantastic moving film with average boxing scenes but an absolute killer performance by Christian Bale. David O. Russel is a filmmaker I wish was less of a dick...only because he'd probably get more movies done that way.

NEW YEARS RECORDING

New Years is here and that means resolutions. Prick up your ears for the empty promises one makes in hopes that the next flashing moments of life are better then the last. Everything can be better a little voices say, all you have to is try, or you could end up dead, painfully so.

The promises are clear and in IMAX THREE DIMENSION NEON: Keep things cleaner, eat healthier, do more exercise, concentrate better at school, write more, be more creative, reach your dreams and conquer your enemies.

All the normal stuff.

Being creative is the most important thing to me (even if my parents would argue that the first four are of dire importance). Somehow against my best cowardly tendencies, I'm weeks away from finishing shooting a film I wrote and directed, which is jaw dropping in itself. The one thing that I haven't done is write a book, which i s something that I promised myself to do when I was of the tender age of 12. I have to get that. Someday. Like now.

I need to watch more movies.

Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds if you know me in the slightest.

Being creative for me has always been an extension of the arts and entertainment that I consume - it's impossible for me to work in a vacuum of my own thoughts. If I see a Western, I want to birth six shooter cowboy oater. If I see Sci-Fi, I want to envision fantastical space opera dramas. If I see pornography I want to...

Yet, with all the opportunities around me, I'm crippled with choice. I don't know what to watch so I watch nothing. I can't count the number of times I've just decided to take a nap instead of make a difficult decision of watching EVIL DEAD II or ARMY OF DARKNESS. I lead a sad empty existence.

Jumping from the great 1001 MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH BEFORE YOU DIE I will watch one film from the book a day. That way I always have somewhere to jump from, I will have no more excuses of lack of quality, and I will expand my horizons.

Instead of writing movie reviews for each film, especially keeping in consideration that all the films included in the book have pretty good write ups in the first place, my 'critical breakdowns' will take place in a more diary form. I have a fairly dull life (other than the constant fear of ending up shaking a tin can on the street) so thoughts on a review coupled with lines like 'I barely got up this morning because there was nothing for me to get up to so I watched MATRIX RELOADED which was way too long and cause me to go back to bed' will undoubtedly make riveting daily fiction.

I'm making efforts to improve (as obvious as that is) my faults, but I sadly can't make any promises. One thing I can guarantee is that 2011 will be different. Not necessarily better, but different, and sometimes that's the most important thing of all.

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers ( 2004) - FILM

Geoffrey Rush chameleons the chameleon in his award winning portrayal of funny man Peter Sellers. Sellers was a complicated and mean spirited individual and all of his major life beats are hit in classic Bio Pic style. Director Stephen Hopkins (of PREDATOR II fame!) throws in some very odd cartoony bits of style that clash straight up against the rough nature of the story being told - which while may be the point - only succeeded in taking me right out of the narrative. Still, Rush's performance is more then enough to give this one a watch.

Count of Monte Cristo (2001) - FILM

Forgotten in the annals of big budget adaptations, this adaption supposedly only shares the title of the French Novel and takes liberties with everything else. From my perception of having never read the source material to base it on, the film plays like a very enjoyable expensive looking adventure that only skirts the surface weight of the material. Director Kevin Reynolds (Of WATERWORLD shame) has a knack at keeping things interesting by giving it a big budget sheen constantly moving sheen without sacrificing its classic roots. Jim Cavaziel and Guy Pearce makes appealing heroes and villains (respectively). Recommended.

The Killer Elite (1975) FILM

There's a fun action film hanging around the insides of Sam Peckinpah's did-it-for-the-money film THE KILLER ELITE. The problem is that it's lost in so much padding. James Caan is fun as the swarmy CIA agent that's betrayed by his partner and left for a cripple. Instead of giving up, Caan learns some martial arts (which he barely uses) and teams up to save a Japanese client that's being chased by some Ninjas. The action is fun, in slow motion, and bloody, but there isn't nearly enough of it, and the story is a complicated mess of goobellygook. Mildly Recommended.

My Year of Flops - BOOK

I'm usually fairly uninterested in books that have to do with bad movies. It's just not fun to me. Yes, I realize they did something bad, and yes, it's sometimes quite funny to sit there and continually repeat "I can't believe they did that!" but it can only take me so far.

In MY YEAR OF FLOPS, writer Nathan Rabin doesn't want to make fun of the films he's considering in his essays, but wants to find them as something more than the original public did. He's always looking for a diamond in the rough.

And throughout the book he not only finds films that deserve a second chance, but he evaluates a lot of films I had never even heard of (the greatest compliment I can give to a book of lists). And even when he analyzes easy targets (Battlefield Earth anyone?) he still finds enough interesting things, from a production trivia perspective to a more analytical outlook, to make it worth reading over.

Highly Recommended.

The Cincinnati Kid (1965) - FILM

Norman Jewison crafts a solid motion picture that allows Steve Mcqueen to act as cool as ice (as per usual). The whole gambling idea just doesn't have much at stake, I never felt there was much danger to Mcqueen or the outcome meant much other then a personal point of pride for the main characters. I need a little something more if I'm expected to watch them play Poker for forty five minutes.

POINT BLANK (1967) - FILM

"I...want my money."

Lee Marvin is the baddest of badasses in John Boorman's Neo Noir masterpiece. Marvin stars as Parker, a man on an unstoppable path for the money that's owed to him. Grim, funny, perfectly paced and filled with bursts of crazed non-linear editing that the film is still remember for to this day. See it now.

BULLIT (1968) - FILM

Peter Yates energetically directs a story that doesn't have much going on about it. Steve Mcqueen exudes quiet cool. There's one wicked (and deservingly famous) car chase. Everything else is kind of dull.

WITNESS (1985) -

I'll be completely honest and state that I wouldn't really be interested in this film if it wasn't for the charming presence of Harrison Ford. And after viewing the film, I know I would have never made it through if it was for him. Director Peter Weir is a master of creating atmospheric tome poems, and he doesn't fail here when it comes to visually illustrating the world of the Amish. There just isn't much going on here, no discoveries made, or hard beats it, the film just plays itself out as a visually stimulating slow paced 80's cop film that happens to take place in an interesting locale. Odd 80's score from the man that scored LAWRENCE OF ARABIA.

ELECTION (1999) - MOVIE

I'm surprised it took me so long to see this film in its entirety. As a kid, I saw the ending one night on TBS and felt that I really didn't want to see something that seemingly ended in a downer.

I was a fool.

A stylish black comedy about High School politics that involves many complex emotions (and humans just asking like flat out jerks) but presented in a poppy style. You barely realize the horrible things going on because it's so much dang...fun.

KRAMER VS KRAMER (1979) - FILM

Classic film about a father )(Dustin Hoffman) fighting his wife that left for fifteen month (Meryl Streepe) for the custody of his son. Every note is hit perfectly. The ending is a little saccharine and pat, but the performances pull it through and make it believable.

FILMS I WATCHED TODAY

It feels like a lazy Sunday I had when I was ten years old - flipping through the channels and only finding old movies and new stuff I didn't really WANT to see but will watch because it holds a vague interest to my sensisiblities.

-The Magnificent Seven: Classic on every level.

-Death Race 2 (2010): Above average DTV flick that doesn't have an ending and is pretty slack on the whole 'racing'

Lethal Panther (1990. HONG KONG)

(ALSO KNOWN AS DEADLY CHINA DOLLS)

Cut and Paste Master Extraordinaire Godfrey Ho, famous for taking unfinished films, shooting ten minutes of new footage, and editing the whole thing together and releasing it as "NINJA VERSUS SOMETHING OR OTHER" tries his hand at the Girls with Guns craze that was sweeping Hong Kong in the mid-nineties.

As per usual, he delivers a sleazy by the numbers product that goes the extra mile to deliver the goods.

To my eyes, this seems like a straight up original job without any extra footage, but I could be wrong. The final product is still as disjointed as ever, and it deals with two assassins, a police woman and...some other girl...blowing away anyone in a suit and tie. They hate people in suits because one of them killed an entire family of bears.

To be honest, the subtitle on my copy kept hiding right under the screen, so the plot wasn't much of a concern. I had to keep myself interested by the constant barrage of uninspired gunfire, the full frontal nudity, and the non-acting gweilos. The major problem with the film is that most of the action is pretty rote: Close up of gun firing, close up of person being hit, cut to person rolling out of the way.

I actually got *gasped* bored about thirty minutes in.

This is trash ladies and gents. The girls look pretty. The violence is violent. The story is inconsequential. It does nothing new with the genre, in fact, it's fairly happy with flat out ripping scenes off. Hey look! The assassination scene for A BETTER TOMORROW!

Was that Carpenter's Halloween theme song I just heard?

And then the movie just ends.